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It's almost 3am now. And I can't fall asleep help!!! Thanks to my bad sleeping pattern (sleep at 4-5am, wake up at 11-1pm), I am now going to die because tomorrow I've got to work at 9am T_____T

Yay!:

Received my first angpow of the year! My maternal grandma insisted on giving so we (siblings too) had to take it. This afternoon around 12pm I was supposed to work but around 10am (I was still sleepy btw), got a msg saying that boy couldn't make it so yay! Slept away and woke up at 1.30pm hahahaah. 

Boo!:

My grandma and mom were nagging me that I should make cookies. More like mom indirectly complaining about me not wanting to make cookies and grandma nagged. Seriously, it's pissing me off a lot. If I've never started baking so many freaking years ago (I started baking when I was 15), life still goes on right??! I don't understand why must make a fucking big fuss about me not wanting to bake. And she keeps telling people that I do not want to bake, hinting that I'm lazy. Seriously, what the fuck. 

The reasons I completely hate baking can be tracked down to 2 years back. I even blogged about it. Everytime when CNY's nearing, I'll be complaining about this whole baking cookies issue. I used to really like baking, but she's the one who made me hate it now. 

The first few years I started to bake CNY cookies, it was great. Everyone was eating happily. She was shamelessly telling everyone I made it. After that, the expectation grew. I mean the expectation on me. She DEMANDED me to bake more and more. The frustrating part was, she wanted me to bake for 18726430123 uncles and aunties. What the hell? Why am I the one to bake for everyone?

The year after that, I decided not to bake so much. Only a few types. Mainly because I lost my recipe book. She did gave me money to get the ingredients and stuff. But I only made a few types. But still, sufficient to give to whoever she wants to. And then when she saw how little it was, she complained and showed sour face. I was so angry I ran to Wk's house and stayed over that night. It was 2 days before CNY. 

I did try my best to do it, why couldn't she understand and at the very least, say thanks? Why is it like it's my freakin' duty to bake cookies? Why me? Why not my sister? Or my cousin? What the fuck lah.

Random:

Wk's in Prague. I love how he sends me a message everytime he travels to somewhere and then he'll tell me how beautiful the place is and how I'll love it and that we both should visit it one day =) 15 more days till he's back! Although only for 4 days, still better than nothing. 

Ok getting a little bit sleepy. Great.

x

Eev

Butter Makes Your Poop Hard

Yay!:

Look what I got today during work!

#339

Of course, that wasn't the first time receiving something from students' parents. Over the past few years I've received festive cookies from different parents for different festivals. CNY, Deepavali, Raya. You name it! Yes I'm showing off jealous jealous? XD

Daymmmn those cookies taste heavenly ok! It was calling out to me and I couldn't resist it. I kept checking them (cookies) out every 5 minutes and succumbed to it in the end. I ripped off the sealing tape and popped one into my mouth and I went to heaven wtf. 

The pastry was sooooooo smooth and buttery it melts in the mouth! And the jam omg the jam! The texture was AMAZING! It was the most perfect pineapple tart jam that I've ever eaten! It's not too dry and not too moist. And I actually bit chunks of pineapples in it! Gosh now I feel like making pineapple tarts. And eat another one from the container.... no.... must.... resist...........

Btw those were home made. For so many years I've never even bothered to cook my own jam cos it takes so much of time. But after eating those tarts now I feel like making my own jam instead of getting those ready made ones! 

Esther Toh tunnels are the best ok! Do you guys prefer the 'tunnel' type of pineapple cookies, or the 'open air' type?

Boo!:

Well early this morning (super early like 4am cos I wasn't asleep yet and Wk was back) while talking to Wk we got into some topics which made me really sad. My mood has been swinging a lot lately. I get happy, sad, inspired, devastated, ok, pissed off etc all in one day. And he kinda became my punching bag. I'm so sorry =(

Random:

My brother just told me this and I was like 'omgwtfbbq'. He said that if you eat too much of butter-processed food like PINEAPPLE TARTS, butter cookies or even the butter itself (the block ones, not margarine or vegetable/fat spread - they're completely different), it makes your poop hard and the poop actually comes out it pieces! He said something about the butter drying out the 'crap' in your bowel. Wtf...

Century Gothic

Changed the fonts of this blog cos I finally find small fonts irritating. Also, I discovered this font that's pleasing to the eyes... ok MY eyes. It's the Century Gothic. I especially love the question mark ? hahaha. Nothing much yesterday except for me breaking down again. Seriously need to stop it! It gives me uneven eyelids the next morning which is now. 

Is it just my computer or is everyone else's internet particularly in the Klang area's shitty?

First Job Application

Yay!:

I've finally finished a cover letter and a resume! 

#337

Having worked both part time and full time as a music teacher for the past 6 years, I've never in my life needed to write a resume nor a cover letter to get jobs. People just look for me and take me once the schedule's sorted out. If I'm sounding like a complete show off, I'm not. Cos that's just the case for people who teach music. Music centres are often desperate and deprived of experienced music teachers especially violin teachers. So anyway, talking about these cover letter and resume, I'm finally doing it cos I wanted to apply for this job - which I have already done. What happened to my master studies plan? That'll go to another post in the future.

Dippy, Fran & Hi-Chew

Yay!:

I'm not feeling the best, but definitely better already. Thanks to everyone who showed concern =) Did some retail therapy today. Went out with Esther. Look what I bought!

 

From Forever 21, 3 tops, a pair of earrings and a necklace! I don't know what's with me, everything I picked has an abstract, floral motive! They all look like pieces of art. Water colour art. Tattoo. Graffitti. Aaah I love them. And thank goodness I didn't get everything in black otherwise, can't wear them for CNY. I have a tendency to buy clothes in black ALL THE TIME. So, surprise surprise. Actually not that I really care about the colour for CNY but I don't like people to nag me.

And also, the junkfood junkie in me got these as well:

 

I am OBSESSED with Japanese snacks. Seriously. Fran has completely replaced Pocky in me. It's wayyyy better. Dippy is the BEST biscuit sticks with dips everrrr. Forget Yan yan, if that's what it's called... Only those that I got - the ones with chocolate biscuit sticks are good. I've tried other 2 flavours, not as nice. And Hi-Chew candies! They're like Sugus (anyone still remember Sugus?) but much nicer!  Apple is the BEST flavour out of all that I've tried but we'll see. Cos I've gotten a few new flavours that I've never tried before like Peach, Daifuku and... I'll tell you in the next picture. Daifuku tastes like strawberry yoghurt. Not impressed. Haven't tried peach.

And guess what's the next flavour I got?

 

DURIAN WTFBBQ!

Seriously I wanted to laugh when I saw it! Isn't it funny? Durian flavoured chewy candy! I was really curious on how it'll taste so I got it. Actually it's not too bad but being a fan of durians, I'd say it tastes quite artificial. But I'm sure Esther will cringe when I offer this to her. Lol.

Boo!:

I STILL have not gotten over the fact that I was rejected. Honestly, I don't know if I would reapply. It's not something easy, like some of you may think. I spent a lot of money just to produce the audition CD. If I were to reapply, I would need to do it all over again. If you're wondering why wouldn't I use back the same CD, it's because hey, if you have time, wouldn't you want to make it better? If I decided to reapply, I'd rather reproduce everything than sending a lousy CD (which I got rejected with) and risk getting rejected again. It just wastes time - producing the CD and waiting for the reply. And in the end it only makes me feel like shit. Music is not as simple filling in the application forms and sending it and attend an interview. 

I know I've also made a mistake by not applying to a few other universities. My reason is I ONLY want to go to Melbourne U. And my reason to that is if there's a good school, why not?  If my qualification fits, why not? But looks like I'm not fit for it lah. I HAVE heard that the music school in Monash is not as good, which explains why. If I ever thought of applying again, I will definitely send my application to not only one university. If.

Random:

Besides crying, this rejection has made me think a lot. Will talk more about it once it's confirmed.

Thanks for reading people! 

x

Eev

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Yay!:

After that news, there's nothing I was happy about already.

Boo!:

It happened so quickly. One minute, I received a package and was really excited but was turned down cos it's not from the uni but some stuffs I bought online a while ago. Then I received an email from an agent in IDP whom I've been dealing with all these while. I asked her for her help last week to see if the uni has sent any reply cos it's been more than 3 weeks since they received my application. When I saw that email from her, my heart skipped a bit and I started praying. Ok maybe not praying since I've never prayed. But I was hoping to see something good. Instead, these words "I'm sorry but your application is unsuccessful" made me stunned. I didn't feel as bad until I saw the PDF file, a scan of a supposingly the uni's letter to me which I've yet to receive.  I broke down little by little and have been crying nonstop that it's making everywhere hurts. My jaw, my nose, my eyes (its so swollen I can't even open it properly now haih) and my head. It's not that I don't want to stop crying. Everytime I think about another goodbye, it just shatters my heart. I admit part of the misery is because I have spent so much money just to prepare that fucking audition cd. To reapply, I need to spend another sum. And my dad always say I don't save money. How do I save my money when I need to pay for so many things each time? Those aren't the point anyway. Haih.

Random:

Just to hide my fugly crying face.

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This is not a yay boo random post.

In case you are wondering, my application was rejected. I thought I could accept it when it happens since I did expect the worst scenario. I was wrong. I cannot. If you think I'm wallowing in self pity, yes I am. Let me, at least for now.

I don't know what to do next.