I'm in a lovey dovey mood now so if you can't stand stuffs like that, don't bother reading.
I was reading The Time Traveler's Wife and came upon this page which talks about how much Clare wants to chop her hair off but can't because Henry loves it and then she says she will miss it but it's just so much effort. It felt so familiar reading all that because, for the longest time I have always wanted to cut my hair short (when my hair was super duper long) and when I say short, I mean super short. Has anyone ever noticed how long my hair used to be?
Crap would you look at that? It reached my hips. My freakin' hips.
And honestly, I do miss it T_T
Not that my hair's super short now. It's heavily layered and the length still remained about the same but it doesn't look as long as it was, like in that picture anymore just because it's much thinner now. The reason I kept the length is because, like Clare, I know I will definitely miss it and also, Wk loves my long hair (he tells me that, I didn't assume this myself ok) and I know he'll definitely be upset if I cut it short.
Anyway, I must say, having it layered has been the best thing I could do for my hair cos all my split ends are now gone, it's more manageable, it doesn't tangle as much, it's easier to comb and the best part is I still get to keep the length eventhough it might not look as long as before :)
Ok I know, that's like totally random. I just thought I would share that small part of that novel here cos I can relate to it so much. That book has been ok. I won't say it's as interesting as Life of Pi but I do enjoy reading it. It's so freakin' thick lah 500 pages wtf. Probably need another month or two to finish it cos I only do about 8-10 pages a day.
Ok that aside, I have been missing Wk so damn freakin' much these few days. We skype/msn /webcam almost every single day. We sometimes wake each other up. And the best part is, we motivate each other to do what we're supposed to do - I'm supposed to practice, he's supposed to work on his design. And I must say, having him around is sooooo much better cos otherwise, I won't even bother to take my violin out!
Everytime I look at him in my laptop's screen, I think of the day we're going to live together, in OUR apartment, OUR room, OUR kitchen, OUR bed, OUR computer (haha next time about this), OUR place. And it just motivates me to want to work hard and just get freakin' get accepted by the university.
The next time I go to Melbourne, I'm expecting to say... "OUR" apartment instead of "HIS" apartment, or "HIS" bed. The next time I we wish each other "good morning nigga" (inside joke), I want to be able to laugh right in front of him and not just typing "ha ha ha" and punch 'Enter' on the keyboard. And the next time I expect all these, is next year.
The more I think about all these, the more I want to practice, and the more I think about all these, the more I'm afraid of rejection. It's stressing me out seriously.
This is not just a diploma or a degree. It's a master studies. It's not something you can apply by sending in a bunch of papers and forms and whatnot. I sometimes wonder if I'm actually fit, or good enough to apply. A lot of people tell me I can do it and I can get in and all that. I know everyone's being nice but whether they really think I am good enough, I don't know. What I know is I want to just do my best, and apply and hope for the best.
But I constantly think about a lot of 'what if's. What if I get rejected?
I cannot take rejection. At all. Not at this stage now. He has given up the contract and hasn't even found a new accomodation, all because he's expecting me. How can I even deal with a rejection when I'm thrown with all these expectations?
Another reason to not being able to handle rejection is that I seriously cannot stand this LDR any longer anymore.
I just want to stay beside him and have someone to touch my hair. I just want to stay beside him and have someone to keep me warm. I just want to stay beside him and have someone to tell me how much he loves me everyday, right to my face and not through the computer or phones. I'm just someone who's like many others out there, who needs her dose of affection everyday. I hope it's not too much to ask for.
I was reading The Time Traveler's Wife and came upon this page which talks about how much Clare wants to chop her hair off but can't because Henry loves it and then she says she will miss it but it's just so much effort. It felt so familiar reading all that because, for the longest time I have always wanted to cut my hair short (when my hair was super duper long) and when I say short, I mean super short. Has anyone ever noticed how long my hair used to be?
Crap would you look at that? It reached my hips. My freakin' hips.
And honestly, I do miss it T_T
Not that my hair's super short now. It's heavily layered and the length still remained about the same but it doesn't look as long as it was, like in that picture anymore just because it's much thinner now. The reason I kept the length is because, like Clare, I know I will definitely miss it and also, Wk loves my long hair (he tells me that, I didn't assume this myself ok) and I know he'll definitely be upset if I cut it short.
Anyway, I must say, having it layered has been the best thing I could do for my hair cos all my split ends are now gone, it's more manageable, it doesn't tangle as much, it's easier to comb and the best part is I still get to keep the length eventhough it might not look as long as before :)
Ok I know, that's like totally random. I just thought I would share that small part of that novel here cos I can relate to it so much. That book has been ok. I won't say it's as interesting as Life of Pi but I do enjoy reading it. It's so freakin' thick lah 500 pages wtf. Probably need another month or two to finish it cos I only do about 8-10 pages a day.
Ok that aside, I have been missing Wk so damn freakin' much these few days. We skype/msn /webcam almost every single day. We sometimes wake each other up. And the best part is, we motivate each other to do what we're supposed to do - I'm supposed to practice, he's supposed to work on his design. And I must say, having him around is sooooo much better cos otherwise, I won't even bother to take my violin out!
Everytime I look at him in my laptop's screen, I think of the day we're going to live together, in OUR apartment, OUR room, OUR kitchen, OUR bed, OUR computer (haha next time about this), OUR place. And it just motivates me to want to work hard and just get freakin' get accepted by the university.
The next time I go to Melbourne, I'm expecting to say... "OUR" apartment instead of "HIS" apartment, or "HIS" bed. The next time I we wish each other "good morning nigga" (inside joke), I want to be able to laugh right in front of him and not just typing "ha ha ha" and punch 'Enter' on the keyboard. And the next time I expect all these, is next year.
The more I think about all these, the more I want to practice, and the more I think about all these, the more I'm afraid of rejection. It's stressing me out seriously.
This is not just a diploma or a degree. It's a master studies. It's not something you can apply by sending in a bunch of papers and forms and whatnot. I sometimes wonder if I'm actually fit, or good enough to apply. A lot of people tell me I can do it and I can get in and all that. I know everyone's being nice but whether they really think I am good enough, I don't know. What I know is I want to just do my best, and apply and hope for the best.
But I constantly think about a lot of 'what if's. What if I get rejected?
I cannot take rejection. At all. Not at this stage now. He has given up the contract and hasn't even found a new accomodation, all because he's expecting me. How can I even deal with a rejection when I'm thrown with all these expectations?
Another reason to not being able to handle rejection is that I seriously cannot stand this LDR any longer anymore.
I just want to stay beside him and have someone to touch my hair. I just want to stay beside him and have someone to keep me warm. I just want to stay beside him and have someone to tell me how much he loves me everyday, right to my face and not through the computer or phones. I'm just someone who's like many others out there, who needs her dose of affection everyday. I hope it's not too much to ask for.
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