Prelude

As most of you have already known, I'm already here in Melbourne. I've quitted all my jobs, compressed my life and packed it into about 32kg, said goodbye to everyone, cried buckets of tears, sat in the plane for 8 hours and now, I'm here in a familiar new place with my other half.

I wanted to post pictures but everything in the apartment's all packed as we're preparing to move into another apartment, I can't find the cable to transfer pictures from my camera. Wk's at work right now and I don't want to bother him about this so this will be a picture-less post.

Yesterday on the way to the airport, my grandmother couldn't hold her tears and she was pouring for some time in the car. It seriously broke my heart to see her that way but there was nothing I could do to stop her from crying because she knows I'm leaving her.

At the airport, Esther, Wai Tuck and Sim Mei came to send me off. 

I've never mentioned this but when I first went to STAR (my secondary school), Sim Mei was actually the very first friend I made. I went into the class not knowing where I should sit. I saw here and there was an empty seat next to her so naturally I walked over and politely asked if I could sit there and she said yes. I've previously heard about her as we were both from the same primary school (Simpang Lima) but we were at different classes so we didn't know each other. But I heard she was really smart, so I guess before I decided to be seated next to her I did put that into consideration, that I'm sitting next to someone smart and that could be beneficial to my studies somehow hahaha!

Esther was in a different class, but somehow got transfered to the same class as Sim Mei and I during secondary school. Esther again, was from the same primary school as me but we were not in the same class. In fact, I remember seeing her even since kindergarten. She and Sim Mei were from the same class in primary so when she got transfered, Sim Mei introduced her to me. I told her how I remember seeing her in kindergarten and then we just clicked from there.

Technically, I've known these two girls for 11 years already. And counting.

As for Wai Tuck, I don't remember how we got to know each other but we met during Form 6. And he's been my 'kaki' in Klang along with Esther for 6 years now. He's also my rap partner in karaoke :D

When I had to go into the terminal, I said goodbye to everyone. I first told my grandma to take care of herself. When I hugged her I couldn't control myself anymore and I broke down. Seeing this, I guess everyone else broke down too. I then hugged everyone else, including my parents.

I'm sure most of you know I have quite a weird relationship with my parents. Sometimes I bitch about them, sometimes I say how much I love them. We don't communicate much unless we need to talk about serious stuffs. 

The last time I hug them was probably when I was really young. 5? 6 or 7 years old? I don't know. And now that I'm giving them a hug, it hit me that I'm hugging them because I'm leaving them already. And I cried even harder. My mom cried. I don't know if my dad did cos I was too emotional to see already. 

I'm sorry I forgot to give Cerdwin (my future sister in law) and Wai Tuck a hug. I dunno why I didn't, I'm sorry. I appreciate your presence so much yesterday. And thank you so much for the gift Cerdwin, you really didn't have to. But since you insisted, I told you what I prefered :P Thank you so much! :)

When I was at the waiting gate, I broke down again and while crying, Dr. Nasir (my lecturer in UM) called me and wished me the best. He, as usual, was about to say something lame but when he found out I was crying he went all serious lol. Nikki (one of my violin students) called to wish me too.

When I was in the plane I broke down every once in a while when I had nothing to do and I couldn't sleep. And I took out all the letters and thank you cards I've received and read them. From my students Nikki, Huishan and Zhishan, from Sunwave Music Centre, from Alfa, from Esther. Wth I cried even more especially when I see the word "Teacher Ee Von" but it kept my heart warm knowing how much people loved me and my presence mattered was appreciated all these while. Thank you all of you who gave me all these lovely remembrance, you know who you are!

I held a meetup with my best uni friends - Jian, Chee Wei, Adelle, Michelle and Cheng Choo. Cat was supposed to come but she was busy with her thesis so she couldn't make it. It was really nice meeting everyone once again. We talked about silly things, laughed at silly things like how we stupidly looked at the Apple logo instead of the lens at the back of Adelle's iPhone when the guy was helping us to take a picture using it. 

Jian was one of the first few friends I made when I went into UM. He was also my rumoured boyfriend haha! We were close enough for people to think we're actually a couple lol. Adelle was the first friend (apart from my roommates then) I made when I stayed in the hostel. Most of the people there conversed in Mandarin and I couldn't really fit in until I met her and we clicked instantly because we share pretty much the same opinion on everything! Cheng Choo and Chee Wei was from the dance department and I don't remember how we know each other but they too, got along with us super well. Michelle is Adelle sister and of course, was introduced to us through Adelle. She's friendly, nice and witty. 

All of them are my favourite people in uni and nobody can take that away.

Then of course there's Cat whom I again, can't remember how we got to know each other and gotten close but I'm thankful and grateful to have her as my friend all these while. We've been through the ups and downs together, played gigs (cheating wan ahahahah), karaoke at the most ridiculous time of the semester, my most favourite times with her are of course in UMSO. It's not the best orchestra but its the people there that made it all worthwhile. People like her, Alfa (my FAVOURITE gay friend haha), and Amy.

Thank you for the earrings Chung Kiap, Yik Chuan (I still prefer to call you this than Albert, sorry! I first know you with that name!), Esther, Sim Mei and Wai Tuck. I wear them everyday now :) Well partly is because I don't own real stuff (as in gold or silver etc) and my ears can only take those so yeah hahaah. The Spongebob plush sleeps with me everyday! Er... it's just a sponge so it can't do much ya know what i mean wtf.

Of course, I wanna thank my parents and my grandma for all the support. Emotionally and financially! Hahah. My mom showered me with luxury again T__T this time she gave me 2 gold bracelets and a designer wallet T________T 

Ok this post is going nowhere but I hope I didn't leave out anyone. I know it's not as though I won't see them anymore, but the fact is I don't know when I'll be seeing them again.

I'll be living a new chapter of my life here and I promise to be happy.

-

Initially I didn't want to break this news in my blog but the stress level has been cummulating up to my neck now I feel really suffocated. I have too many things to do, but too little time.

As some of you may have already known, I'm leaving Malaysia in less than 2 weeks. It's a one way ticket this time. I am going to Melbourne but it's not a holiday and it's not for school. It's to stay there for a good few years until I get a Permanent Resident (PR) Visa from the Australian Government. Because Wei Kiat is putting my name with his, the lawyer said I have to be there before lodging the application, and thereafter while waiting we are required to stay. In other words, I have to leave everything behind. Everything I already have in my fingertips - jobs, car, familiarity, connections, friends and family.

No, I'm not blaming anyone. I just need a place to let a little bit of things out before I explode.

I currently have 5 main things to do: settle things in my dad's shop, settle things in music centres I teach at, have as many lessons as I can with my violin teacher and lastly, spend time with friends/family and lastly pack.

I know I complain about working at my dad's all the time and I should be happy now that I get to get the heck out of here but that doesn't change the fact that he's my dad and if I could I would help him any time. When I told him how soon I had to leave not only did he not sound me for being irresponsible, he showed his concern on what I'm going to do there, financial stability and all the things any dads would naturally do. And I feel really bad but there's nothing I can do about it but to get everything as organized as I can before I leave.

I currently teach at three different places but the good news is that I have already told them my plans of leaving a few years before this (with failed attempts of actually leaving wtf) thankfully all bosses are already prepared. I won't miss being irritated the crap out of myself by parents who complain a lot or students who don't practice, but I would most definitely miss my students. I would miss that rewarding feeling when a student does well whether in an exam or a regular lessons, and I would miss having kiddy conversations with the younger students. Yes, I might be able to live this part of my life again in Melbourne, but the students I would get in Melbourne are not Malaysian. That, is the difference.

Right now, I'm having violin lessons as regularly as I can afford to - as long as I have enough money, and time. I feel really happy that I've finally found a teacher who would help me out unconditionally, with dedication and as much as he can but it's also really sad that I'm tied up with so many other things, I really really really want to try my best to put practicing the violin as my no. 1 priority but I just can't. My teacher advised... or rather requested that I quit working at my dad's for this month and make sure I get myself really really prepared, before approaching educators over there in Melbourne. I agree, but sadly I cannot do it. I want to quit not because I hate working here (eventhough truth is I'm only working because I feel like I owe it to my dad) but because I really want to be prepared. I try my best to practice (I should be instead of blogging but damnit I really cannot stand the stress anymore) but work just takes up more time and there's nothing I can do. I feel really sorry for myself, I feel so guilty to my teacher.

According to my schedule, I'll be out every single night after work not because I'm going to have fun with friends but it's all more work-related things to be done, trying to settle everything until the very last minute. How the heck can I spend more time with my family/friends like this?!

Lastly, it just hit me that I won't have any time at all to pack unless I sleep lesser. If I do, I'll be too exhausted to even practice or work. So the only days I'm left to actually pack, are a Saturday and a Sunday. Notice how it's not plural. How does one pack up her entire life in just 2 days? Once I leave, I don't know when I'll be able to come back. My mind is like a warzone, I don't know where to start from. I don't know what I should and should not bring. I have too much of makeup, books, clothes emotions...

And today's sick tummy plus 4 trips to the toilet is not helping at all.

Just the other day my dad was telling me he might as well sell away my car since nobody is going to drive it anymore. It made total sense, but it also made me really really sad to hear what he had just said. I don't know why. It hit me hard that my parents raised me and gave me everything including that car and then I'm just going to leave them in less than 2 weeks.

I'm sorry this post is getting so fucking emotional and I'm crying right now.

♡ is in the air

Girl: For this vday, go to cards section in the mall. Randomly pick one vday card and read. Then put back in the rack. There, that's my present. Practical n economical, yet still have the lovey dovey feel. Wtf.

Guy: WTF Hahahah. So sweet. Then as for u. Go online n read one la :)

After half a day...

Guy: Read a vday card. It says "see u in Melb on 28th!". I smile. Content. This is the day I've been waiting for

Girl: :) you make me smile like sohai. Just your assurance is enough to convince me tat going there n restart my life is ok :)

Guy: :) I dunno wat will happen. But i know we'll go through this together. I'm sleeping ady ya. Nite nite baby.

***

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

I spent Valentine's this year with 2 of my bestfriends. I wish we can do this every year.

Don't my nails look freaking awesome?

I've been quite diligent in painting my nails so no more Wai Loon come asking me "Is this a trend? Why is there only a patch of colour at the centre of your nails?"

Pasta Zanmai

Chinese New Year this year felt a little short but still fun nevertheless. Nobody truly enjoys a holiday until they start working. This year could be the last time I get to celebrate CNY with my family. Sad, but some things need to happen. Will reveal when everything is in my hands. Remember I said something exciting is going to happen? Well, it IS happening. Soon. Exciting, but scary at the same time.

And no, I'm not dying.

Some pictures of Wk and I at Pasta Zanmai. First time eating there. Verdict? Overpriced fusion food. Worth trying though cos some dishes taste interesting, but don't eat the typical Japanese dishes cos it's a lot more expensive than if you were to order it in Sushi Zanmai.

Spaghetti with Unagi and egg. Not bad but nothing to shout about. This is around RM 23 or 26.

Spaghetti with prawn tempura and sesame paste sauce. This one tastes really interesting. It's a mix of Japanese, Oriental and Western in a plate. I think this is around RM 26.

I shall end with a picture of me being my usual self (obsessed).

Hair colour's fading already huhuhu T_T