I know nobody likes dealing with goodbyes but I know nobody feels the same about goodbyes.
Everytime I stand in the airport facing the departure gate saying goodbye, I always have this question repeatedly banging inside my head,
" Why do I have to go through this? Why humans have to go through this? Why do certain people need to be apart? "
Over the years I've grown much stronger to all these farewells but the pain, the sadness and emptiness have never gone away from me. I know I'll get over it within days (sometimes, hours) but if I get to choose, I'd rather not go through all it at all.
Today I walked away from the airport and wished it'll be the last goodbye we'll have to say to each other. At the same time I felt so afraid of rejection, of when things don't go the way I prayed them to be. I feel it every day, every minute and every hour.
He'll be gone to Germany for only 6 weeks but when he gets back, there're only 3... possibilities. Two good, one bad.
1. I've already left, for orientation.
2. I'll be around, and will be leaving with him.
3. I'll be around, and staying back.
We've been staying so positive up till now, hoping for the best, planning for the best possibility. But I still cannot help but to be afraid of the unexpected.
Gosh I am so freakin' worried.
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