I know

Is crying a failure of staying strong? If it is, I'm sorry I failed. I am known by a number of friends as a person who laughs really easily, easily ammused, easily humoured. Do you guys know I cry easily too? I see someone with no arms or legs on the street begging for money, I feel like crying. My lecturer scolds me, I get furious and I'll cry. I read or watch a sad story/movie, I cry. My parents disallow me to go out with my friends, I cry. Happened when I was younger though. My students play like crap and no matter how many fucking times I tell/yell/teach them they still either don't practice, or don't get it, or both, I'll cry. When someone close leaves, I'll cry.

I tried and tried to understand the situation. He's there. The line's expensive. Something's wrong with the internet service. Up till now, I've sent out 10 messages, and 7 from him. We're supposed to talk in msn. But the internet's not working over there.

I've waited and waited, and in the end all I get to do is sit here and feel extremely disappointed and sad. I know it's nobody's fault. I know it's not his fault that the internet's fucked up. I know it's not his fault that communicating's expensive. I know it's not his fault if he doesn't want to send me any messages just because its expensive.

So what? I'm still crying a river now.