This is just my blog, not my mind.

Oh. My. God.

First, I was shocked to see an unusual high amount of hits in my blog for yesterday. Then I checked on the referals and found this link to this forum thingie. It all started with this:

And then someone replied:

If you're curious, it's this post he's talking about.

Seriously, when I saw the word "break up with her instead" I went "WTF?" straight.

But everyone is entitled to their own opinion so of course I will STFU.

This dude, or maybe girl, talked as if he/she knows me when clearly he/she doesn't. 

It is definitely true, I miss home. Come on, who will not?? Do I enjoy missing home? Of course not. But do I enjoy being here? Well when I don't face shits like financial issues or uncertainties, of course I do! Isn't that the same for everyone? 

All our years spent apart, Wk and I, we were looking forward to this day. We were planning and planning and planning. We have been together for almost 9 years now, we were in LDR for about 4 years before I came here. LDR is difficult but it's not impossible and it's not a complete pain in the butt if you and your partner stay strong. LDR to me wasn't a trouble, but a challenge. Trust me, when you can pull it through, it is the most rewarding feeling ever.

I don't think anybody knows what exactly I am going through, how exactly I feel, but myself. And of course, Wk. If there's one thing I need to say, it'd be I am happy to be here and yes, sometimes I do question myself if coming here was the right choice. If I'm happy, I'd say yes, it is the right choice. Not to say I wasn't happy being in M'sia but in life, you need to have some kind of objective, some kind of goals you want to achieve. I don't know what's my goal in the future yet but just 1 or 2 years ago, it's to end LDR and not live life like a routine. Today, I'm glad I've achieved it.

Seriously I'm amused, or rather amazed how people can just come up with their own conclusion or judgement about another person by only reading their blog. Do you really think I share/talk about every single bit of my life here in my blog? I wish people can understand the fact that they can read my blog, but they can't read my mind.

I know that dude didn't mean anything by linking my blog post and thinking that way about me but I still feel the need to clear things up. Coming here wasn't a rushed decision, it was planned for years. We knew it's going to happen this year. I didn't want to mention it in my blog because everytime I break a news about a future plan I'm excited about, it always never happen. It sounds crazy and ridiculous but I do believe it'll jinx it so I kept quiet.

alla Carbonara

19/5/11 - Bacon and Cheese Pasta

I would love to call this Carbonara but really, an authentic Italian Carbonara sauce isn't made this way. If you do not already know, I LOVE my plate of Carbonara. Everywhere I go, if I see a Carbonara in the menu I would give it a go. So far, the one served in Delicious has been my favourite. That being said, it probably isn't the authentic Italian Carbonara cos it tastes uber creamy/milky and there're oyster mushrooms in it. 

After researching for the best Carbonara recipe for the past few weeks, I've learned that the authentic Italian Carbonara doesn't have mushrooms or cream AT ALL in its pasta. Its basically just eggs and guanciale, which is something like bacon but isn't smoked like bacon. Wanna know which part of a pig a guanciale is made of? The cheeks, I'm serious. But apparently it tastes really good. So anyway, the Carbonara that most people know including you and I, is basically an Americanized version with the addition of mushrooms and cream be it pure cream, heavy cream, thickened cream, cream cheese or mascarpone cheese. Some even have milk.

So for the authentic Italian Carbonara sauce, the sauce is basically only made of uncooked beaten eggs (more often, just the yolks) mixed with pecorino romano (no, this is not parmesan although it could look and smell like one) and black pepper. You basically cook your pasta and meat first, then mix both together and while it's still hot, you pour in the eggs and cheese mixture and quickly stir to prevent the eggs from curdling. The heat will cook up the eggs so it is edible.

For years I've been eating one of my favourite plate of pasta without knowing how ridiculously easy and it is to make it. I've made Carbonara 3 times now and I will still continue making to find out the best combination of cheese and cream. I've never tried making the authentic version of the Italian Carbonara cos I don't think I will like it. I love my Carbonara super creamy, cheesey and you might as well say fattening. Its all those things which conquer my appetite.

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No news from the immigration yet regarding my application. I hope I can get an answer latest by next week. I'm starting school in less than 3 weeks together with local Australians. Nervous? Hell yeah. I hate starting again. Whatmore, this time there won't be Malaysians or even Asians around. And I'm doing something I have absolutely no clue about.

Future school

 18/4/11 - Baked fish and vege with potato salad

There was this cafe my family used to really love going, Danny and Partners. Its a very small cafe serving good old Malaysian-ised western food like Fish n' Chips and Chicken Chops which tasted quite good at a reasonably cheap price. When my parents discovered it we would go there almost every weekend and I remember I loved their potato salad the most. I'm not sure but I think it was during one of the school holidays, one of my classmates back in secondary school worked there as a kitchen helper and that was how I got the recipe to their potato salad which I've been holding on to and making all these while. 

Shameful as it may sound but honestly, lots of people love it :) I'll share the recipe if anyone's interested, or to make things more interesting I may just make a video tutorial of it one day! Haha, we'll see. 

Of course, all the credits go to the guys in Danny and Partners who invented this delightful salad, and my former classmate Ian Kirk who shared this recipe with me. Well technically if I remember correctly I was quite persistent and it would have been really awkward to refuse me hahah. Unfortunately, I don't think Danny and Partners still exist. The last time I went there, the food wasn't as good (even the potato salad, yes, sadly) for the price. The last I heard, they were gone already.

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Now cooking aside, I've been busy with applications. I'm enrolled in a school and I'm in the process of applying for my student visa. I don't feel like spilling more info so this would be it.

I'm not studying anything related to music. Not yet. This is just a transition period which I need to go through. I still love music but now is not the time and I don't want to push it because I don't think it'll turn out right if I push it.

As for what I'm going to study, it'll remain unknown for now because I know some people are going to judge. Everybody judges, I judge, you judge, admit it. I know people will tell me don't care about what others think but in my opinion that's complete bullshit. There certainly is a part of me which does mind what people think and I don't need those negativity right now. Those who know, I told them because I know they won't judge me.

This definitely isn't something I've expected or planned to do so I'm definitely scared.

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I've been watching Supernatural and omg Dean is so hawt. And Masterchef is DA BOMB. And Glee... is still annoying as ever.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

When I was in Form 4, I was introduced to English Literature where I learned one of my first few poems.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,
 
And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference


The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Right now, there's nothing else I can relate to better than this poem.

Hoku hoku

Curling my hair with a straightener is fun! Aaand, it saves money cos I can curl and straighten with it, no need to buy a curling iron.

Hello! Anyone still reading? Haha.

Did anyone watch The Royal Wedding yesterday? I must say it was quite an entertainment. I didn't give a damn about it and found all the hoo haa quite ridiculous at first. I mean, it's just a wedding why all the excitement? In the TV there were like swarms of people (like ants, when viewed from the top) around the church, it looked almost like a celebration. Well, it is a celebration cos to them it is THE wedding, not a wedding. And I was joking and telling Wk wow if any terrorist wanted to attack the country, this would be the time to do it lol. Just saying.

Honestly, it was beautiful. Not just Princess William's (Kate Middleton) dress, the whole ceremony was, albeit very overwhelming. If it was me I would be so damn stressed and nervous to know that billions of people are watching me and my wedding. 

Something funny to share - someone in my twitter mentioned that while everyone's singing God Save The Queen, it was cute that the Queen just stood there while everyone's singing about her. It would have been funny if the Queen sang "God save me" LOL!

24 April 2011 - Japanese Night!

Easter was last weekend and Maggie and Kai Mun came over. We joined forces and cooked up a storm! Haha. We decided to call it "Japanese Night" and cooked Japanese dishes. Everyone had a role, or I should assigned to a dish to prepare!

Me - Hoku hoku croquette. Croquette is a type of deep friend ball rolled in breadcrumbs, and the ball is made of mashed potato and minced meat. Very interesting! My recipe is from this really funny Youtube cooking video, there he also explains the meaning of Hoku Hoku which is hillarious, I cannot stop laughing everytime I watch it! We also found the Bulldog Sauce in an asian grocery store! It's posing in the picture as well, can you spot it? :D

Maggie - Tempura and curry chicken. The tempura powder we both love is by Nissin. It's the only tempura powder I'll use! So good. The curry mix is actually a Japanese instant curry paste, so easy to make and tastes good too!

Kai Mun - Garlic fried rice. Very easy to make as well. Just fry it with lots of garlic, add some egg and spring onion and seasoning, kao tim.

Wei Kiat - Grilled beef-rolled enoki. This one tastes really good but very tricky to prepare, not forgetting it's also very costly. The marinade and sauce is premade but the rolling step is difficult cos the raw beef is really thin and fragile. Also, you need to have a really sharp knife to cut the cooked rolled beef into bite size  because it is almost impossible to bite the enoki off... if anyone gets what I mean. Go to Sushi Zanmai and order one and try it.

Wei Guan - He's the kitchen helper of the day!

It was quite a fun day. Esther I wish you were there :(

As for life, as usual, it sucks. Like I've mentioned, things aren't as simple as I thought they would be. I will strive, of course. Just like how I'm striving to play well on the violin. Wk and I created this little 'game', where I will have to achieve 24 hours of practice in a week to earn $50, if I don't I'll be fined $50. It's a little motivation to make me practice. So far, I've lost $50. And I've yet to earn back or earn additional $50 cos... I have my ways to not pay haha. But I know that's definitely not the whole point of this game. 24 hours honestly is not a lot considering I am free all the time. Gotta work harder!

Oh one more thing. Thank you to everyone who has been supporting and cheering me up whenever I feel like crap :) You guys are amazing!

Omurice - 14/2/11

I want to be happy being here but honestly, I'm not truly happy. Not because I'm homesick but the endless uncertainties of what lies ahead, of my future. I can't say I don't appreciate the opportunity to be able to be here, to be safe from all the terrible disasters happening to the world, to have someone to hold on to when I crumble and fall, to experience a whole new different way of living and gain new knowledge. But the waiting is slowly killing me already. And my practice progress hasn't been very rewarding. I practise frequently, setting targets which I managed to achieve, some of it, but I find myself constantly getting frustrated and demotivated to a point where I would break down and cry. Life isn't as simple, things don't work out as easy. If I want to, I could just call back and ask my dad to send me some money so that I can enrol into schools and study. But the last thing I want to do is to give my parents more burden. There are so many casual jobs waiting to be grabbed, I'm even fortunate enough to have one reader of blog who stays here offer me job opportunities but the thing is I can't take any, yet. I'll have to wait. Not wait for the day to come, that would have been so damn easy. But wait for someone important to say yes. Many people think it's a good thing to be able to go to another country and work and live. They don't know what I had to give up to come here, and in the end not get what I first expected. Many people think my life is so easy because I basically don't have to do a single thing like waking up at 7am and go to work, or pay bills. They don't know how I'm feeling inside, they don't. They don't know the things I sacrificed back at home just to come here, and have absolutely nothing but hope. They don't know about the fear and the tears I cry. When I hear people tell me "I want to have your life" all I can do is smile and feel like crap inside.

Yesterday I made Omurice, which is a Japanese version of Malaysia's Nasi Goreng Pattaya. Omurice = Omelette + Rice. The difference is, Omurice has Tomato Ketchup drizzle and tomato fried chicken rice, while Nasi Pattaya has chilli sauce drizzle and regular fried rice with crappy mixed vegetables and sometimes a little bit of chicken. Everything turned out great until the egg wrapping part and transferring it onto a plate. It was so difficult because my pan was flat and not big enough to make an omelette big enough to wrap the rice completely. Nevertheless, I'm quite happy with the result.

What's for dinner?

At almost the end of yesterday I had the most excruciating backache ever. The kind where you just want to squat down, burry your face in between your knees and curl yourself like a ball. Or prawn, as how I usually like to say it.

I figured it's because the day before I was practising for about 6 hours or more and I was standing all the time. Not that I practised 6 hours continuously without breaks cos I can never do that, but for what I remember I was standing all the time. And then yesterday we went to DFO which required quite some walking. While inside DFO of course we walked again. When we were walking towards Ying Thai for dinner the pain was slowly building already and the cold weather only made the pain 10 times worse.

Lesson learnt. Don't ever practise for such long hours without sitting down eventhough I wasn't tired. It'll only strain my back and I'll have to pay for it later.

Thankfully I had someone to give me free back massage ♡ Not pro but better than nothing! :)

I feel a little 'crippled' without having a camera around :( Thought of purchasing a charger from Sony out of desperation but it's AUD 89 dammit so expensive. Now I'll have to ask someone to send it to me and I guess the worst part of it is waiting haihh. Meanwhile, I'll have to abuse Wk's iPhone since my phone's camera sucks.

Here are pictures of some of the meals I cooked. I don't claim to be or in anyway think I'm a good cook but I just find them picture worthy. So that someday in the future I can read and look back at old posts and say "Wow I actually cooked that crap!" Lol. Joking.

This was actually really simple to do. Wk found the lamb shank recipe online and all I had to do was to follow the recipe. Wk did the mash which was really creamy and buttery mmm... There's no specific recipe to it. Just cook some potatoes, mash it, add butter, salt, pepper and milk until you like the taste. I think he added some rosemary to it... which he adds to most things he cooks wtf I don't know why.

It was one of the first few meals we cooked so at that time, we didn't have a dining table so we had to sit around these boxes to eat hahahah!

My favourite thing to cook is my own version of cheese omelette! Super easy as well. And the meatballs are actually my 2nd time making them. They didn't taste as good at first but after keeping them in the fridge for a few days and reheating them, they somehow tasted a lot better! Which is weird.

Salmons sold here are really fresh.

This was our brunch one day. Ok I just noticed my 'pancakes' has a typo haha. The pancake mix we got is from The Pancake Parlour which some of you by now may already know that it's one of my favouritest place to eat at lol. The mix is really easy to use and tastes really good as well!

Instead of Marmite, we have something called Vegemite over here which I assume is the exact same thing. I heard Australians eat Vegemite with bread for breakfast. Wtf I can't imagine the taste but I'm curious, I might try it one day. 

We made Bah Kut Teh one Friday night and invited Maggie and Kai Mun over for dinner. It was pretty good but we forgot to add fu zhuk and tau pok. And fish maw. and abalone wtf I'm joking. I made a REALLY huge pot of the soup cos I used 2 packets of the herbs and it asked for 3 litres of water for each. Lol. In the end we kept the extra soup in the fridge but after 2 days it turned into this brownish black jelly consistency hahaah. I know technically it still can be consumed by just reheating but blehhhh. We threw it away already.

Ok that's all the pictures I have so far. Need to grab some stuff out from the freezer for dinner tonight. Byeee.